Addiction Enabled:
3 Signs you are Coddling Your Loved One To Death
Part 1
This is a tough one. People die left and right of overdose from multiple controlled substances, alcohol poisoning, and many other forms of death tied to the drug world, including violence. It’s not such a predictable realm as most would think. I mean to some extent; you know for the most part that bad things can happen when you’re into bad things.
Enjoy this THREE-PART SERIES
As a FAMILY RECOVERY COACH and a failure to launch expert, I get asked all the time if I think that a family member is simply supporting the addict or literally killing them. This is a very tough call and conversation to have because most of the time, it is the latter.
So, how do you know if you are helping, or killing your loved one, if you’re supporting their drug habit or being lied to? Here are a few signs that you might be an enabler, and your loved one might be taking advantage of you in order to keep their drug of choice flowing through their body. Let’s take a look at some of these.
Sign 1 – They keep asking for money, and you keep giving it to them
In this case, we’re talking addiction. Either way, giving someone what they want all the time usually isn’t healthy, unless it’s your occupation. So, let’s stick to the subject and say your son or daughter gets money from you whenever they want. You ask what it’s for, they say it’s for food, gas, or even tell you not to worry about it. For one, it’s definitely your business where your money is going. For two, if they live with you, it’s also your business what and who they are potentially bringing into your home. It’s also your business whether or not they are in danger. Take this scenario into great consideration: Your kid asks you for $50. They tell you they’re using it to get gas and go out to eat. But you know they are lying. You know they get high or drunk off the money you hand them. But you give it to them anyway. 24 hours later, you get that call that every parent fears more than anything. They’re in the hospital in critical condition or have died from an overdose or a drunken car crash. These situations are unpredictable. But there are also many things that could possibly avoid such tragic results from becoming a reality. Stop giving them money, for one. If they say it’s for gas or food, and you insist on helping them, pump the gas. Purchase the food. Even if it keeps them from going out and getting high for 1 night, even 1 hour, it’s possible that the situation might end differently, and give you a chance to talk to your loved one about getting help. If you stop the cash flow, you stop financially supporting the addiction from your end.
As a Nationally Certified Family Recovery Coach, I tell my families all the time that sometimes you need to say ‘NO’. Parents want their kids to be happy, they want them to do well and be successful. However, giving them everything they want can be costly. Failure to launch clients will always ask for money, never want to work, and ‘always be waiting on the call for an interview’. They just never seem to get it together. Does any of this sound familiar to you yet?
If it does, we are here for you. Please check out FixFailure2Launch and The Addictions Coach or if you want to become certified as a Nationally Certified Family Recovery Coach or Nationally Certified Recovery Coach.
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