3 Signs you are Coddling Your Loved One To Death
WELCOME TO PART 2 IN OUR SERIES
Are you the enabling mother, father, or husband or wife and you just want to help but seem to make it worse? We understand….read on and we can help you.
Sign 2 – The addict lives with you, and isn’t trying to work their way into a place of their own:
Your kid or even your sister or brother, a grown adult, needs a place to stay because of whatever circumstances may have come into play. So, you let them stay with you, with the promise that they will get a job super-fast, help around the house, and keep good company. 3 days later, you have not seen them for 3 days and they have not cleaned up after himself/herself. You may even find beer bottles or needles, other paraphernalia in their room (your living room). But you clean it up and let them come back whenever they will. They are not looking for a job, but you keep taking their excuses and hoping for the best. You cannot just hope someone will get better.
They may even admit it and say they want help; they ask you just to let them stay with you until they can find help. Well, even though you cannot do everything for someone, especially what they can do for themselves, this is where you cut off the excuses and bullshit, discard it, and put something into action. You get phone numbers to treatment centers or coaches, counselors, whatever might help. Then you discuss the situation and start putting together a plan. You tell this person that they call these places, get into the program, even an intervention for starts. If they don’t accept the help, they leave. It’s hard, yes.
But if you keep allowing any addict to take advantage of a couch, a fridge, a TV, and a shower, you’re enabling them. You’re potentially enabling their death by making things easy for them, so they don’t even feel the need to get help, or so much as evaluating what they are doing with their body, with their life, with YOUR LIFE. It’s the help they can take it or leave it. The most important thing you can do in this matter is to stand your ground and keep your word. No more free ride.
This is where my job as a Family Recovery Coach comes into play. I am able to discuss their addiction with them and you as a unit. We set boundaries, we set rules and we stick to them. We literally force their only hand, which is helpful, and as a Certified Family Recovery Coach, I can help you, the family unit through the entire process.
When you deal with failure to launch, or addiction treatment issues, you want a trained professional to assess the situation, make suggestions, and most importantly get action. You need RESULTS and we get them. Check out The Addictions Coach and if you are looking to get certified as a Nationally Certified Family Coach or Nationally Certified Recovery Coach or call us at 1.800.706.0318 ext 2