3 Signs you are Coddling Your Loved One To Death
Welcome to Part 3 in our 3 part series on how to know if you are enabling or loving your addict to death.
Sign 3 – You both wear a mask of denial:
Denial is the enemy of the truth. You KNOW that what I’ve talked about is a spittin’ image of your current situation, but you don’t like to admit it. You’d rather feel better and hope that your loved one will eventually just straighten out. Well, when they are in denial about their problem, as with most addicts and alcoholics in the thick of it are, and you are as well, this brings nothing but a negative outcome on both ends.
Imagine: Your daughter asks you for “food money” and you give her $100 and tell her to be careful, the rest of the money is for emergencies only. This in itself can be an emergency situation. She leaves, you worry yourself to death, wondering if she will live for another night, because you know what she’s doing, and you just supported the hell out of it. You are officially enabling her to death. Every time she goes out, it’s with your money. IF she comes back, it’s to your home. She has no worries except how easily she can get her next fix, paid for by you. You love her and want the best for her.
She is addicted to drugs and you are addicted to her.
My point is with all this: Not only to watch your own back but look out for your loved ones too. Don’t feed their addiction, don’t coddle them, don’t accept lies and excuses. Don’t feed their toxicity with more toxicity. Give them a very short time to get their shit together and get help, or make them leave your house. The results of tough love can be far less painful than the eulogy you may be writing if you don’t stop giving into someone else’s addiction.
If you want help and peace of mind, please call us at 800 706 0318 ext 1 and let us help you deal with the issues. You are not alone. Visit The Addictions Coach to see our full array of services to help you help them. Visit The Addictions Academy if you are interested in being trained as a Nationally Certified Family Recovery Coach or Nationally Certified Recovery Coach.