Why Logic is an Important Tool for Me in Recovery
Written by Rose Lockinger
For a good portion of my life I probably could not have been accused of being logical. I had no idea how to stop, I simply felt. You see my emotions ruled most of my life, always reacting and rarely responding to my life I felt everything so intensely that at times it was very difficult to use logic. I had concluded that there wasn’t a God because if there was he wouldn’t have allowed me to suffer in the ways I did through my childhood and adulthood. On top of the emotions, I struggled with negative self talk that I engaged in, which eventually eroded my self-esteem till it was almost non-existent.
Needless to say when I got sober I realized how illogical most of my beliefs were and I also began to learn that my alcoholism skewed my thinking in such a way where irrational thought always trumped rationality. It was as if my alcoholism created a sort of alcoholic logic in my mind that wasn’t necessarily based in reality but seemed to be so unalterably true. No matter what information I was given to the contrary, when I believed something with my alcoholic logic, there was no changing my mind.
However, through the process of working the Steps, attending therapy, and intensive introspection my thinking began to clear up and I was no longer ruled by my emotions or the illogical thoughts that paraded through my mind on most days. I was, in a sense, able to finally be logical. I was able to see that A + B=C and not ‘R’ like I always believed and it was like receiving a new pair of glasses for my reasoning.
Don’t get me wrong, there are still sometimes when my emotions get the best of me and I am unable to logically think through a situation, but for the most part I am aware of this today and even when I am unable to be logical, I am at least conscious of the fact that my thinking may be off.
I think that in this case, an example would best describe the transformation that took place and also show why logic is such an important tool in my recovery today.
For so many years all I could think about was myself and the horrible experiences that had happened to me. Let’s say someone who I know was having a bad day and they were sort of short with me. In the past I would conclude that they were mad at me for something, unable to consider that maybe they were dealing with an issue themselves. I couldn’t logically see that maybe they were just having a bad day and that it probably had nothing to do with me, because my alcoholic logic informed me that everything was about me, so therefore their snub was about me as well.
Another example of where logic plays a major role in my recovery today is with my ability to think out what would happen if I picked up a drink again. There have been times in my recovery where I have thought about drinking again and during my active alcoholism this thought was always followed by the action of a drink. There was no stopping it and once again my alcoholic logic would tell me that things would be different this time.
Now armed with actual logic, I am able to think through the drink and see the devastation it would cause in my life. I am able to see that to drink again is to die and that there really isn’t another conclusion based on my past. Being able to logically “play out the tape” has been extremely important in my recovery and without logic I don’t think I would have been able to do so.
Having a clear mind, free from drugs and alcohol, I have gained the perspective that has allowed me to not have to make rash choices that are not in my best interest. Today I can logically think through the scenarios in my life and if need be, take a step back until I have a reasonable way to proceed.
Not only has logic allowed me to stay sober, but it has also allowed me to live a more peaceful and simple life. I am able to see most things for what they are and I am able to differentiate between things that are my business and things that are not. Being able to see the truth for the truth and the false for the false has changed my entire life.
Rose Lockinger is a passionate member of the recovery community. A rebel who found her cause, she uses blogging and social media to raise the awareness about the disease of addiction. She has visited all over North and South America. Single mom to two beautiful children she has learned parenting is without a doubt the most rewarding job in the world. Currently the Outreach Director at Stodzy Internet Marketing.